thewolf3:

i just came back to tumblr after a 2 year hiatus and i Do Not Recall How Any Of This Works: Am I Old or Just Confused

update: it has been another year and I have returned again, even older and more confused

i just came back to tumblr after a 2 year hiatus and i Do Not Recall How Any Of This Works: Am I Old or Just Confused

princessithaca:

azbukivedii:

stevhoa:

irtenyev:

when w. h. auden said “evil is unspectacular and always human” and ursula k. leguin said “this is the great treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain”

when toni morrison said “i just think goodness is more interesting. evil is constant. you can think of different ways to murder people, but you can do that at age five. but you have to be an adult to consciously, deliberately be good – and that’s complicated.”

when simone weil said “imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”

when hannah arendt said “good can be radical; evil can never be radical, it can only be extreme, for it possesses neither depth nor any demonic dimension yet - and this is its horror - it can spread like a fungus over the surface of the earth and lay waste the entire world. evil comes from a failure to think. it defies thought, for as soon as thought tries to engage itself with evil and examine the premises and principles from which it originates, it is frustrated because it finds nothing there. that is the banality of evil.”

when t.s. elliot said “this is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper”

(via gracegeeksout)

merfilly:

prismatic-bell:

cwicseolfor:

afronerdism:

guccixcucci:

sinfulnoodle:

guccixcucci:

guccixcucci:

My mom taught me to exaggerate my pain so that doctors would take me seriously and all I’m saying is that it hasn’t failed me yet

Listen. If you’re a Black Woman you absolutely should exaggerate your pain.

We’re dying because these doctors refuse to take us seriously. If you feel like something is off exaggerate it until they test for it. We’ve gotta advocate for ourselves

Seriously yall. Doctors would rather you be in pain than have to actually diagnose you. Some doctor stans gon be mad but damn if it took 10 years for them to successfully diagnose my mom after she was telling them textbook recounts of what she was experiencing and if it took 8 years for my aunt experiencing terrible indescribable pain in her stomach that they could have EASILY xrayed her for to which they actually did after literal fuckin years of her crying they found that the last operator on her left shit in her stomach. Then yes doctors don’t fucking care aboht patients anymore. Its a money business and you’re a dollar sign to them. May be some legit ones out there but in my experience its been “you’re fine, heres some shit that won’t help.” Because nothing fuckin changes.

So many stories of people having to see 3,4 different doctors with the same symptoms just to get someone that’ll run all the tests so they can get a diagnosis

I had all the classic symptoms of Multiple sclerosis 4 years ago. I mean textbook symptons. A disease which has no cure and which best hope is to get on treatment as soon as you see symptoms to delay or stop disease progression.

I went to my doctor after the er discharged me with “stress” and said “help my face is numb and I’m scared. He looked at me in my face and said “well what do you want me to do about it?” I had to beg to see a neurologist. The neurologist refused to let me speak and told me I was just stressed and refused to schedule me for an mri. Had she done that they would have found lesion on my brain.

4 years later I have now 2 lesions on my brain consistent with MS. I only found a doctor willing to take me seriously by happenstance after being hospitalized and refused a surgery that I would need anyway a few short months later. While on the hospital I was dismissed and refused pain medication unless I was literally screaming.

Fuck these doctors. Advocate for yourself hard.

“I want to copies of your documentation in my records of the symptoms I have reported and what actions were taken to respond to them.”

LISTEN ALL OF YOU BUT BLACK WOMEN ESPECIALLY

If a doctor refuses treatment or tests, say “I would like your refusal to treat documented in my chart.”

Then wait about 24 hours. (Partly for computer processing time, partly so if they think they’re being smart and saying yes but not actually doing it they’ll think they’re in the clear.)

Then call the doctor’s office AND SAY YOU WANT A COPY OF YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS.

If the refusal to treat isn’t in your records, you now have a malpractice suit.

Very, very few doctors are going to risk that possibility. They’ll bitch and moan when you ask for documentation, but they’ll run your tests.

As a comparison, by the way, here’s a doctor who had nothing to hide: my mom’s eye doctor when her eye started getting to the “It’s going to have to be physically removed” stage. He met us at the office at 9pm, long after close, with his date, to give my mom an injection to try to relieve the pressure in the eye. (Luckily said date also worked at the clinic and completely understood why he was doing this. He’s a great guy, he deserves a great lady.) I asked if he could note the exact time in her records, because the time needed between these injections was speeding up immensely. His reply:

“Actually that could give us an idea how fast this is progressing. Yes. What time is it? I’ll look up her earlier visit when I’m done.”

If your doctor isn’t that eager to make these notes, demand documentation and try to find a new doctor ASAP. It will save your life.

All of this. But I learned a couple of useful tricks in dealing with muscular and skeletal issues that were chronic but not consistent.

“This is interfering with my ability to work.”

“This is keeping me from sleeping enough to function safely.”

Those two statements got me batteries of tests to figure it out, and eventually into therapy to retrain the months’ long rotator cuff damage.

Because gods forbid we let our physical bodies prevent us from being a safe contributor to the capitalist nightmare.

(via thisshipoftheseus)

theglowpt2-deactivated20200101:

theglowpt2-deactivated20200101:

cottagecore is over lighthousecore is IN

• sea shanties
• maddening isolation
• cold and wet
• haunted(?)
• gas lamps
• sturdy boots
• homoeroticism
• a giant squid is there

(via masseffectdoctor)

bluehairedspidey:

bluehairedspidey:

nothing is more disappointing than getting into a piece of media and finding out its not even gay

(via masseffectdoctor)

tiny-fallen-star:

sometimes i remember that hebrew was literally a dead language. dead!! for two thousand years!!!! until this one guy in the 1880′s was like hey fuck german and russian and spanish and french We Are Jews we should speak The Language Of The Jews!! and everyone was like dude tf hebrew is DEAD it’s OLD it’s missing too many words, we can’t use it. so he was like ok. i’ll make up new ones. checkmate, atheists and he fuckninh did he stood up by his little desk (?) and invented so many new words and wrote a whole dictionary and then he had a child and only spoke hebrew to him and that child was the first person who’s first language was hebrew in two thousand years and…………………………… i’m sorry i’m so emotional over my man, Eliezer Ben-Yehuda. he singe-handedly revived a dead language. what a man

(via masseffectdoctor)